


Guys Enjoy Things Up Their Butts.

by psychotichippo



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Blow Jobs, Gay Sex, I'm Bad At Tagging, Irrational drunk Peter, M/M, Miscommunication, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Rape/Non-con Elements, Twinkies, Unintentional Stalker Wade, Wade thinks Peter is precious, peter's kind of a screamer, the chapters are really short, uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-26 03:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3834556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychotichippo/pseuds/psychotichippo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Wade accidently freaks Peter out by doing nothing and gets smooched on by a drunk Peter at a party that he's not so sure how he wound up in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since the last time I wrote anything. So don't hurt me.  
> I read a Spideypool fic that was so bad, it inspired me to try and make a better one...

“Well what does he look like?”

With his hood mask pulled down and light brown hair springing all over, Peter scratched the back of his head while shrugging. “It’s odd, he’s bald and covered in scars. He’s not terrifying just…really out of place I guess you could say. He’s always alone too. We just keep bumping into each other whenever I’m out doing casual stuff. “

The two older men looked at each other and shrugged.  
Bruce sighed, replacing his glasses from his face to his hair and suggested that maybe he should check with the X-Men to see if they have anything to do with him. Tony on the other hand just tossed him a pocket knife, and told him that they’d keep an eye out.   
Peter chucked the knife into his backpack and nodded before leaving.  
Being the youngest of the Avengers made him sort of nervous due to the fact he had to have a life outside of the hero business, between school and pretty much everything else a teenage boy has to deal with.   
With the current stalker situation, he just felt it would be safe if he were to inform some of his teammates. Which, seemed to have worked pretty well?

Peter slid his mask back on before swinging his way into the back of an unused building by his house to quickly change before heading home. It was a pain the arse but Peter felt more at ease with the routine, made him believe that no one could follow him.  
Once he entered the house, he was greeted by his aunt and spent the rest of the night finishing up homework and…well, he wouldn’t admit this out loud. But he also jacked off a lot.  
Tonights choice of porn…was particularly interesting.   
Gay porn, where a large muscular bald man got jiggy with it with a smaller ‘twink’ boy.  
He only watched this kind of stuff rarely. He’s straight, he’s sure about that. But no guy can contest to liking things up their ass. At least, that’s what Peter thinks.   
Only seconds after finishing up, he fell asleep with his laptop beside him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter decides that everyone likes twinkies and Steve is flabbergasted by McDonald meals.

Peter woke up the next morning to the obnoxious sound of his alarm clock. He thought it would be ironic to program it to play the ‘Spider-Man Theme’.

At 6am Spider-Man cannot in fact do whatever a spider can.

Though, he likes to imagine spiders waking up in the morning and tripping over blankets, clothing and other unidentifiable things.  
As every other week day morning, Peter slipped on some clothes, brushed his teeth, played around with his hair, slammed his laptop down and grabbed an orange while saying goodbye to his aunt before leaving for school. Some days he walked, some days he took the bus.  
Today was no different as any other.  
Until lunch. The 'perfect' Gwen Stacy always made an effort to chit chat with Peter while grabbing food and finding room to sit before rushing off to do a number of different things.   
Today’s discussion was pretty typical. The usual “Are you being safe?” “How are your classes?”.  
Peter normally just nodded and chuckled, talked to her about their assignments. They weren’t a thing, unlike everyone suspected, but that doesn’t mean that Peter hasn’t tried. Apparently Gwen wasn’t comfortable starting a relationship at the time, he couldn’t argue with that and Gwen was his friend, he wouldn’t try to ruin it.  
After assuring Gwen that everything was okay and joking a little about some of the school gossip, Gwen picked up her stuff and got ready to leave. Then suddenly she twirled back around and excitedly asked if Peter was going to the party tonight.  
Peter’s only actual friend at the time was Gwen, so no. He hadn’t heard of ANY party. Although it was odd that Gwen was getting excited over a party. But Peter would have never said any of that out loud.   
He shook his head and told her no.   
In the next blink of an eye, Gwen had happily written down an address and time onto a napkin and left.   
He looked at the address and realized that the party was happening not too far from his house, providing the fact that he didn’t have to go too far he decided that he might as well live a normal teenage life and go.  
It was the first time that Peter was ever thankful for the Avenger’s group text.   
The group was created initially for if one of the members wasn’t available for something. But since it was created it’s only been to make sure Steve doesn’t get lost or for his new ‘discoveries’, which mostly consisted of new McDonald meals or small electronics.   
Try explaining that to your teachers in class.  
So for once, he had a use for it. He informed the group that he wasn’t able to make anything tonight, but it didn’t seem like it bothered any of them, though Bruce reminded him to be careful.

After school, Peter decided to walk home. Listening to….something, on repeat. He wasn’t really paying attention, after leaving the building he had realized this would be his first time going to a ‘party’.  
He’s been to plenty birthday parties when he was 8, but never one with teenagers and alcohol and…drugs, possibly?  
And gosh, he doubts there will be any pin the tail on the donkey.  
He knew that there probably wasn’t anything to worry about, Gwen would be there, right?  
The next question on his mind was whether to bring something or not? It’s a house party. A shitty teenage house party. But it’s still a house party. 

Sometimes he forgets how many kinds of chips there are, and it always seems like everyone likes a different kind.  
At a grocery store, a little out of the way from his house, he stood in the chip isle staring at rows and rows of different flavours.   
After a 15 minute discussion with an employee about chips he decided it would probably be safer to buy a box of Twinkies. Everyone loves Twinkies.

“Twinkies?”  
Apparently his Aunt May didn’t agree as much…  
“Yeah! Everyone likes Twinkies right?”, he complied.   
All she did was chuckle and steer the conversation to remind him that she was leaving town for the night with her book club or something like that. She told him that she’d leave some left over dinner for him in the fridge when he gets back and she hopes that he’ll be okay on his own.  
Peter told her not to worry and thanked her, wishing her luck on her trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here 'ye go.  
> Certainly more to come, very soon.  
> I mean like...Wade hasn't even come in.  
> So yeah, don't hesitate to comment!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knock Knock  
> Who's there?  
> An aggressively drunk teenage boy with twinkies.

The information Gwen had written down said that the party began at 8.  
Looking at the clock it had just turned 7pm, Peter was already prep to go. He had his coolest Sesame Street graphic-tee on with his best blue plaid shirt hanging loosely off of it. He didn’t bother changing pants but he made sure the box of Twinkies was ready by the door.  
His aunt had already left at around 5:30, so it gave him time to shower. 

At 7:15, he wandered the house, investigating every little thing and talking to himself.  
By 7:20, Peter decided that a walk would be best for his sanity. Just a quick one around a few blocks.  
He locked the door behind him and put in his head phones, subconsciously listening to whatever was playing while taking in his surroundings. It was nice, a full day without having to go all Spidey. Despite what he would like to believe, he doesn’t get that a lot. Especially on a sunny day like today, during his walk the sun was just breaking into the sunse-UMF.  
He walked into something.  
No.  
He walked into ‘someone’.  
It took Peter a moment before he was able to think clearly enough to look and apologize to the person he just whacked into.  
“I’m so sorr-“  
It was him.  
The man who was everywhere. The bald one with scars. Actually…He kind of looked like the guy from the porno but that’s not the point.  
With the way the other man presented himself, Peter was sure his peaceful day off had just ended. But instead the other man chuckled playfully, “Jeez, watch where you’re going will ‘ya?”

Peter was so lost. He just stood there staring at the man, unsure of what his next course of action should be. It wasn’t until the callused man raised, what he could tell was, an eyebrow that he finally opened his mouth to properly apologize and walked away trying not to seem desperate for separation. 

After the incident, Peter decided he might as well play it safe and head home before the party.  
By the time he returned to the house, time had skipped already to 8:13. So he quickly grabbed the Twinkies before heading off to the directed location. 

It was a nice house, very obviously owned by someone’s parents. Who, by the looks of it, seemed to be away for the night(or nights).  
When he arrived there, he followed in after a small group of other teens but was stopped by a girl whom he recognized very briefly as a distant friend of Gwen’s. That’s why she was so excited.  
The girl looked at him, then the Twinkies, and back at him while sighing and holding a hand out. “Give’em here, Parker. I’ll put them with the rest of the snacks.”  
He was happy to oblige and hand her the box of edible preservatives, though it didn’t clear up if he was right for bringing something to the party. 

It didn’t take Gwen long to appear and drag Peter away and it definitely did not take a lot of peer pressure to get him to start drinking either. A small secret that Peter kept to himself is that he was a really bad lightweight…

1 and a half drinks and the poor boy is smashed. It didn’t take long for the family home to fill up with rambunctious teenagers who have been paired with alcohol. The house was filled to the brim, humid and loud. But of course, drunk Peter Parker is still Peter Parker. He hung around the sides of the house with Gwen and some of her friends. Laughing and dancing to ‘ironic’ music. To sober Peter’s surprise, he was having a great time until someone convinced him that a fourth drink would be a great enhancer.  
Off he stumbled through the hallways and into the main area, heading towards the fridge but instead he noticed a familiar marked face from the corner of his eye. Peter turned and there he was…again.  
That’s it.  
Peter Parker was fed up. He was going to teach this guy straight. Why the hell was he even at the party?  
Well that didn’t matter to him at that moment, he redirected his path straight for him. He pushed everyone out of his way as he grabbed the bald man’s arm, yanking him off to the side into another room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He is beauty.  
> He is grace.  
> He is Wade Wilson.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Peter realizes he might not be as straight as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of your comments are making me blush so here you go. A new chapterrrrr!  
> (Ugh I can't write Wade)

If anyone were to ask Peter what kind of a drunk he was.  
He’d just respond with a ‘stupid one’…a very, very stupid one.  
In full attempt to pin the larger man to the wall of the….other room?  
He wasn’t too sure what room they were in, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to intimidate the other man into leaving him alone. But for some reason, in his drunken stupor, he forgot what he was doing.  
The older man easily complied to whatever the small boy was planning, but being shoved into another room to be stared at wasn’t the first thing to come to mind in the situation and that started to come more and more obvious within the silence.

Blank.  
Peter’s brain just went blank. What was he doing again?  
But that didn’t matter anymore, he had re-focused his attention to the confused man he held captive. God was he attractive and all he could think about was the man from the porno. Without realizing, Peter managed to mumble out a sentence to break the silence.  
“Myou’re realllly hot.”  
The larger man smiled and responded, “Aaaannd you’re really drunk!”  
Peter couldn’t help but smile, everything started to get a little fuzzy and the next thing he knew, he was pinned up against the guy with their lips pressed together.  
The other man took no time at all to respond, kissing back harder. Peter took it as a challenge as he took the kiss deeper. The bald man gasped his mouth open to chuckle at Peter’s enthusiasm but Peter went straight to claiming his mouth with his tongue. The other enjoyed the surprise but not for long before he pulled away and supported Peter’s body properly while asking, “ Hold on, what’s your name, Baby boy?”

Peter bit his lip wanting to smother the flirtatious man again but his mouth stopped him, “ Peter, but you can call me whatevveerrr.”  
“Well Petey,” the man positioned himself closer, nearly tipping Peter over. “My name’s Wade.”  
Peter wasn’t quite sure what he did, but he was sure he did ‘something’ right when after seductively admitting his name, Wade recaptured his mouth, practically continuing from where they left off.  
To anyone watching, their make-out session might have looked unpleasant and sloppy. But to Peter, he was in complete bliss, though it could have been from the alcohol as well. All he cared about in that moment was if his dick could get any harder and how Wade’s tongue would move next.  
Peter had managed to get a hard on, and it wasn’t exactly unnoticeable.  
Until Wade moved a hand down to grope at it through Peter’s baggy jeans’, whispering, “How’s this, sweetheart?”  
All Peter could respond with was a low ‘fuck’ groan which encouraged Wade to use his other hand to grope at his butt. At that point, Pete had to wrap his arms around Wade’s neck to keep himself steady.  
As Wade continued to grope and rub, Peter’s panting and gasping increased.  
As Peter began to get more and more desperate, he removed Wade’s hand at his crotch and pressed it against Wade’s growing bulge. Once he started grinding against him, Wade shifted to whisper for them to change location. Drunk and highly aroused Peter groaned but agreed with Wade on movie the ‘party’ to his house. 

After 5 minutes of Peter fiddling with his keys to unlock the door, Wade peered into the home, “Are you sure this is alright. You are drunk after all..”  
Nuh-uhn. Peter wasn’t having any of it, he grabbed the scar-ed man’s shirt and pulled him inside while smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! Yeah. No butt stuff yet. But they're coming up REAL soon.  
> Thanks for being so interested guys!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it cums...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!  
> Only after a year. I am so sorry.  
> But it's finally here, what you've been asking for....
> 
> More Twinkies.

Bedroom?  
  
Wait.  
What? When did he get here?  
  
Peter looked around in a haze, somehow he found himself in the entrance of his house, had we walked home? He attempted to take in the familiar surroundings through his drunken stupor, though he’s pretty sure another man was not there before, and they definitely were not sucking on his neck before.   
Oh…  
_Him_.  
Wayne? Wade?  
Wade.   
  
Once he recognized what the broader man was doing fully, Peter couldn’t help but moan. Wade sucked and kissed large marks onto his neck, while starting to move back up to his lips. The younger man could only wither and groan under the touch, trying to find a spot on the others hip where he could rest his hands. The mission was furthered as Wade began to move the two of them together through the kitchen without breaking their progressive kissing.   
He must have been asking where his bedroom was, right?  
Peter grabbed hold of Wade’s hips finally and turned them so that he could lead backwards up the stairs to his room. Amazingly, they both managed to keep their sloppy kissing going, even adding in a few crotch gropes (mostly from Peter’s end.). Wade continued to try and dominate the smaller’s mouth while grunting here and there.   
_Attractive_.  
Well, maybe it was the booze, but it kind of was.   
  
Once they reached Peter’s door, he cursed himself for having the habit of keeping his door closed as he kissed and nibbled along Wade’s jaw, fumbling with the handle.  
Eventually he got it open and Wade practically automatically took off his shirt, breaking their kiss.   
Peter stood there watching and staring at the scarred man’s chest, smiling hazily as he returned the favour of almost throwing off his few top layers.   
  
“Damn, sweetheart. With a body like that, you shouldn’t be wearing so many layers. Picasso could paint a masterpiece on you. “  
Peter for some reason felt the need to start laughing at the bald man’s compliment as he neared Peter, backing him up until Peter’s knees hit his bed and he sat down.  
Wade smirked, “You think I’m funny, baby?”  
  
Peter looked up with hooded eyes and returned the smirk, “If I say yes, will you fuck me sooner?”  
Which is probably the most coherent thing he's said all night. 

 

Wade grinned as Peter took the moment to realize how hard the other man was now that his crotch was in his face. He could see the thick outline of where Wade’s cock was straining against the fabric of his jeans, he could feel his own cock jump even more as he started to palm against the latter’s erection and using his free hand to undo the jeans concealing it, as he glances up at the other who has become flushed and still smiling down at him.   
  
Peter smiles drunkenly while pulling down the man’s jeans down to the cleft of his ass, Wade wasn’t wearing underwear which oddly enough, didn’t surprise him. Wade’s cock slipped right out of its confinement, right in front of Peter. While the broader man attempted to shimmy down the remains of his pants, the boy didn’t take his time before assaulting the presented hard-on with his mouth, licking and sucking along the length. Wade stuttered and began to groan, biting his lip. “Fuck, baby boy. You know what you’re doing. “  
  
The smaller boy started to undo his own pants with his free hands, keeping his rhythm of licking and sucking at Wade's cock, he even moved far enough to nuzzle and lick near the man's balls which caused some of Peter's (so far) favourite gasps. Once he was able to unbutton and strip himself of his pants, Peter was able to use both of his hands as support on Wade's thighs while slowly taking his length into his mouth.  
The scarred man began to moan and hiss slightly, mumbling words of encouragement to Peter while running a large hand through his hair. Peter couldn't help but moan softly from the praise he received causing vibrations while he managed to take almost all of Wade's length into his mouth.   
  
Wade began to stutter, clenching onto Peter's hair while muttering "fuck" and "shit" repeatedly before pulling his cock out of Peter's mouth. The boy kept his shiny, swollen lips wide open and head slightly tilted as a small string of spit connecting his lip to Wade's cock hung but quickly broke. He looked up at Wade looking hazed and ruined. The older man cooed, "Awh, Petey. You look so fucking precious right now, I wish I could frame you. But you're too good, love. I almost came in your throat," Peter moaned and his cock twitched at the idea of Wade's warmth seeping down his throat. "I'd rather save it for when I fuck you into the mattress." The younger boy licked and bit his lip before crawling back on the bed with a smirk, Wade followed, quick to smash their mouths back together as he fell ontop Peter. Wade moved back to attacking Peter's neck and collarbone while pushing back his thighs and grabbing at the boy's ass.   
  
Peter starts to thrust up as Wade kneads his ass, groaning as he grabs at the skin of his head. Wade gasps and grinds back down onto the boy, setting off a loud moan from Peter.  The broader man moves one of his hands over to tease at Peter's entrance which initiates a small gasp from him which Wade cooed at.   
Wade moves once again to moisten his fingers with some of the remaining spit from his dick before bringing them back to Peter's entrance. He carefully teases the hole, then moving to kiss the boy while entering the tip of one finger. Peter gasps once again and groans as Wade continues to slowly push the finger further in between kisses. "Fucking hell, sweetheart, are you a virgin?"  
  
"Just, keep going. Need you to fuck meee.", is the only response Peter was willing to share as Wade successfully enters the single finger down to the knuckle.  
  
Wade chuckles, "I know. I know. I need to stretch you out though, or you're really going to hate me in the morning."  
He continues by adding a second finger, and soon enough another. It isn't until Wade can scissor three fingers in the boy while he continues to moan like a five dollar whore, probably caused by the alcohol, that he decides to pull them out. Peter goes straight to whining and complaining before he's interrupted by, "I need to wrap my willy, or that would be silly."  
  
Peter sat up slightly to look at the man who just babbled nonsense, "W-..What?"  
"Condom.", is all he received in response. Ignoring the strange comment from before, he laid back down and mumbled about how they were somewhere in his nightstand.   
Wade quickly made work of getting over to the nightstand that was left of the bed, searching through it he pulled out a coupon sheet for Taco Bell and took the moment to place it on the stand for later, then found a small box of Trojan Lubricated condoms. He quickly returned, Peter made a slurred remark about how Wade was amazingly still hard, in which Wade just responded with a bad compliment on how sexy Peter was.   
  
Once Wade had 'wrapped his willy', he moved his hands under Peter and sat him up in his lap, aligning the tip of his cock with Peter's entrance. He held Peter by his chest, thumbing over his nipples while whispering encouragement in his ear, "Come on, baby boy. This is it, goin' to slide down on my dick. Going to be so deep inside of you, going to make you feel so fucking good. Goin' to fuck you out all night, make you see stars."  
  
To no one's surprise it didn't take long until Peter was slowing sliding down onto Wade, until he was completely settled inside.   
Peter groaned loudly and Wade could swear he saw the boy's eyes roll completely back as strings of swears and "so good" fell from Peter's mouth as he grabbed at Wade's shoulders. Peter was insanely tight and flushed, Wade couldn't help himself but to roll his hips while letting the younger boy adjust. Which only ended in Peter whining while trying to push himself slightly up and down on the cock. The bald man took that as an invitation to start thrusting up into the boy, his thrusts were erratic at first before he found a good rhythm while holding Peter's hips to move with each thrust.   
  
The broader man was definitely not without encouragement while the smaller boy practically yelped and screamed out his pleasure, some were words, others were just lots of moaning. Either way, Wade thought it was one of the most hottest things he's ever witnessed. He tried kissing the boy but in return he received a lot of whining and gasping, the boy needed to let it out, he respected that.   
  
The older of the two leaned the boy down on the bed before pulling out, obvious whines and pants came from Peter until Wade flipped him over, smacking his ass while telling him to stick it up. Peter did as followed and was gratefully rewarded with Wade's cock being slipped back into his entrance.  
Peter rested his balance on his knees and his chest against the bed as he grabbed at the sheets, mewling and moaning. Wade continued by pounding into the boy while gripping at his hips. Peter began to mumble how much of a wonderful idea Twinkies were, but Wade just ignored it. He was busy leaning over the boy, assaulting his shoulder with his mouth as he continued to thrust and move a hand under him to grab at Peter's rejected cock and slowly pumping it with the rhythm of his thrusts.   
  
At this point, Peter's mouth hung open but no sound came out as he relished in the pleasure the older man was providing, he tried to grab at the others head, keeping the man on top of him.   
It didn't take long until Peter's body began to shudder and squeeze around the intruding cock as white cum started to spurt onto Wade's hand.  
Peter's body became pliant on his knees as Wade groaned loudly at the sudden clasp around his dick, thrusting into the boy through the orgasm. Wade grinned when he pulled his hand away from the fatigued cock, looking at the cum it produced. He moved his hand to Peter's face, "Lick it up."  
So, Peter did just that. He licked and sucked his own jizz from the older man's hand, when he finished, Wade used that hand to push the boy's hips down into the mattress to pound further into him.   
The boys body was becoming over sensitive as he grabbed at the sheets of his bed and mumbled to himself incoherently. It didn't take much longer until Wade's thrusts became erratic, he quickly pulled out and yanked off the condom before he came all over Peter's ass.   
  
They both sighed with relief as Wade rolled over to lay beside Peter, while already partially asleep the younger curled into Wade before burping and drifting off. Wade chuckled to himself and pulled the blanket up to cover the two, "Alright. Bedtime."  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much, for still being interested, commenting, kudo-ing?, and just enjoying it in general.   
> The final is just around the corner.   
> I promise I won't take another year to post it. The next chapter is most likely going to be the last.   
> So, heads up.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for making it multiple chapters. I like the dramatic break between certain things. Call me a dweeb.  
> Lemme know what 'cha think!  
> 


End file.
